I felt compelled to write an account of my experiences with meditation to give all you sceptics and doubters out there something to relate to. If you have any preconceptions about meditation, if you think it’s for those kind of people who wear a lot of tye-dye clothing and spend a large proportion of their time thinking that their navels are the most interesting objects on the face of planet earth; well, you couldn’t be more wrong!
I’ve always been aware of meditation and like a lot of people out there thought it was for monks, mystics and madmen. And then I met my husband. I’m not going to bore you all with the details of our meeting but it was pretty magical and definitely one of those “love at first sight” moments. A few weeks into our fledgling relationship, my future husband started looking at me in an odd way, as though he’d seen a ghost. It was either that or he didn’t like my perfume.
On quizzing him he started to tell me that I had been described, to the bone, to him, by a tarot reader that he had first been to see 3 years previously. She had described my looks, my personality and even my family background. Of course I was absolutely fascinated by this and was keen to find out more about the esoteric side of life and also meet this tarot reader for myself. The tarot reader was Sahar Huneidi (a.k.a. Psychic Sahar).
I’ve always had a certain amount of belief in tarot readers, mediums and psychics but was always too scared of being deceived or being told horrendous news to pluck up the courage to go and see one. My meeting with Sahar could not have been more inspirational.
During our first reading she opened my eyes to various gifts that I possess that I had previously tried to deny or refused to understand. She also told me that the best way of developing these gifts and making the most of my life was by practising the ‘art’ of meditation. “Easy!” I thought, I’ll have it nailed in a week and I’ll be channelling left right and centre! I couldn’t have been more wrong.
From everything that I’d learnt over the years about meditation, I’d built up this pre-conceived idea of what it should be like and what I should experience. I tried meditation tapes, books, classes and more often than not just sat there thinking about what I was going to have for dinner or whether or not I’d left the iron on.I thought that it was imperative for me to switch my mind off. I thought I was going to have this all-singing all-dancing experience when all the answers to my life’s problems would present themselves in one easy session.
I kept making half-hearted attempts at meditation but then as soon as it wasn’t what I expected it to be, I’d stop and then not bother trying again. I was getting angry and frustrated with myself because I knew that I could achieve so much if only I put my mind to it, but it was the putting my mind to it that was the big problem. I got myself into a negative circle of doubt and anger and continued to block myself for a good year.
I was pretty much at the end of my tether with meditation when Sahar offered to do a guided session with me.
I didn’t think I had much to lose so agreed and went along without any expectations of achieving much. After ascertaining with Sahar what the problem was we began. It was incredible! It was like a switch had been flicked on and I didn’t want to flick it off.
Not long into our session I discovered that I have 4 Spirit Guides, all male, much to my husbands chagrin! I met each one of them and was able to give their names to Sahar. I also made contact with my mother’s brother who did not reach adulthood and communicated with him. I ended up chatting with the guys for a good half hour with them giving me various pieces of advice and answering many of the questions that I put to them. I knew none of this was just my imagination as Sahar was seeing the same things as me.
I cannot begin to explain in words what an amazing experience this was. The sense of relief that I felt was incredible and the empowerment to develop my spiritual being was indescribable. Sahar helped me find the key to open up the door to my own potential and I realise now that it’s limitless.
I think one of the keys to my success that night with Sahar was that I had gone along without my preconceptions. I’d finally pushed logic aside and just accepted that whatever will be will be.
Once you’ve told your ego to pipe down and take a back seat, utilising your unconscious mind is so much easier.
I also realised that it’s not all about flashing lights and seeing spirits. The more powerful the mind, the subtler the individual’s experience will be. Don’t invite drama as this will make you vulnerable and you may have experiences that will frighten you.
The change that meditation has made to my life so far is incredible. It gives you hope even when you think that your prayers aren’t being answered. So for all of you who still think that it’s something that you can’t do, then I suggest you start at the top of the page, re-read and think again.
(c) Nikki Qabazard, London 2004;
Please note: Meditation is not for every one. Please seek meditation under guidance, specially if you feel more agitated, uncomfortable, or experience problems of a nervous, emotional or psychic nature. Sahar.