"Join in, each listening only to his own words,
hearing only himself speaking …
Utterly futile.
I believe only what I know,
I believe only what I think,
I believe only what I say,
I believe only what I feel.
Surely, there are other things but they would bother me.
I’d have to bend my mind.
Utterly futile.”

Goethe- First Epistle

Hello Dear Friends,

This month we are investigating a widely popular and not so fortunate type of love.

“What GUTS people have not to be like ME!  Why don’t they change just to be like me and see things the way I do? I know I’m right! Why do they insist in using their own brain when they could use mine?  Why don’t they move beyond their limitations and their resistance so they can be a ‘true being’ like me?”

–        The unspoken words in the mind of a narcissist.

Let’s face it! There is such a broad range of beliefs, behaviors and conflicts within mankind how can we find love without any challenge?

When we insist on always being right it means that the others around us are wrong. Narcissistic people think that we are normal and acceptable only when we are like them.

We are normal when we go to their church, or we are not normal if we don’t play golf like them. There are so many ways of living, of being, so many ways of loving. It’s always in the eyes of the beholder to determine what is functionally normal and acceptable.

Those who are narcissistic definitely think they are the only ones to be truly normal.  Their preconception prevents them from being flexible. They have difficulties in accepting new perspectives and opinions.  Their orientation makes them think and experience as real only what exists within their narcissistic selves. What happens around them is not reality for them unless they agree. Narcissism is found in the inability to be objective and in the failing of having an objective view of the outside world. It is what is called “the distortion of reality”. It leads them to judge everything only by one standard: their own belief and action. It makes them justify their deeds, good or bad, within the framework of their own manifested noble goals.

Little do they know that life would become much richer if they stopped resisting true reality - that being open and flexible, they would not have to be so stubborn.

Why not be who we are and not who we think we are or who we want to be? Why not just “BE”?! --- Objective, sensitive, and responsive towards ourselves and others?!  

There is no such thing as love without challenge. Do you know that in human relationships “likes often attract likes”? It is what is called the “mirror effect.” Narcissism attracts narcissism, naturally. Each one finds his or her own reflection in the other. This infatuation / union helps the “Club” to spiral rapidly into the “Narcissistic Tribe”.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Are you already a member of the Club? I hope you would not like to join!

Do you know people like this?

I hope you enjoyed reading about this aspect of “so-called” love, not such a nice one, don’t we all have that little tendency? Maybe - maybe not!

It is, however, a common, yet not completely uninteresting type of love, since it teaches us good lessons. It is an expression of our mental body overshadowing our emotional selves.

Until next time,  

Please visit my web site is: www.metaholistics.com

Have a wonderful month of October. I send you all warm blessings of love.   

Marie-France Hankinson