A thin sharp blade
I want to be a thin sharp blade
infinite brightness
blazing off my slender surface
shielding my slender surface with its light
I want hunger
infinite brightness
a thin sharp blade
I am hunger
a thin sharp blade
shimmering with infinite brightness
I am ephemeral and absolute
Still and thunderous
Dead calm and raging
Known and forgotten
Spotlit and haunting the wings
Hidden by a tree
Found hanging there
Come find me so I can disappear
so I can know I am unfindable
so I can be found
so I can elude again and be found again
and disappear infinitely
sneaking away like a burglar
with a black skullcap and a sack full of jewels
Come find me so we can fuse together
so I can escape into your pulse
slipping lightly under its surface
hidden by you and seared together
until I cannot be found
Come find me so we can glide lightly
caressing a pock-marked landscape
together with our treasure
that we are not one but two
you seen (beloved camouflage, my alibi)
and me hiding inside your pulse
Let me slip out of your pulse
and go away for a time
to wake up alone and remember
that it was a dream’s shard
and crave it again (one hit, my fix)
Let me hate you for a time
so I can know I am not inside you
that I have slipped into my skin
which I craved to leave
(which I never left, only dreamt of leaving)
which I pant to wear
sneaking away like a lover
with a black heart and a sack full of tricks
Let me hate you so I can know
I am a thin sharp blade
infinite brightness
so bright you cannot look
cannot unstick your eyes
by Juliana Farha
Copyright 2004