Parting can be such sweet sorrow . . . or hell on earth. The only constant is change. But because we are always either infecting or affecting others, it is how we deal with those changing relationships that reflect what we are really made of.
All kinds of people come and go in our lives, some leaving footprints in our hearts and some leaving a hole in our souls and/or our bank accounts. So what price do we pay for perpetrating more anger and hurt during a separation? We can make a different choice. We can choose to separate peacefully.
Although each separation is as unique as the individuals involved—the following tips offer a way to leave our relationships with grace and our souls intact:
1. Don’t leave it too late. Take positive action while you still have something to salvage in the relationship.
2. Focus on a higher purpose than yourself. E.g. Your children or world peace. Then keep your eye and heart on the goal. Don’t waver from that vision!
3. Remove yourself from the game. Walk away from the ‘who-did-or-didn’t-do-what’ power (less) struggle. If you have safety concerns while dealing with the other person, contact your local social services.
4. Treat the other person as able and willing. People often unconsciously respond and behave according to that higher version of themselves.
5. Speak the truth with compassion. When communicating your grievances, use the sandwich technique; positive (e.g. I appreciate you for this . . .), negative (However, I feel hurt/angry/disrespected when you) and always finish with positive (I would like to . . . remain friends/thank you for . . .).
6. Take responsibility for your part in the breakdown of the relationship. Once we accept our part in creating the problem, we also have the power to solve it.
7. Welcome the opportunity to grow. Whether we are the "dumper" or the "dumpee," we can acknowledge that this milestone is an opportunity for a new life.
8. Say thank you for all that person has taught you. Give each other something good to take away from the relationship. Be specific and be generous in your praise.
9. Give above and beyond. “Generosity is the virtue that creates peace,” say the Buddhists. Give more than is fair or expected or what the lawyer tells you. (If you follow these tips, you won’t need a lawyer.)
10. Embrace the FEAR. (Fictional Evidence Appearing Real) Be aware of what your fear is and ask yourself if it is, indeed, real. Only deal in facts, not emotions.
11. Ask for help. You are probably hurting. The physical equivalent of what you are experiencing might be having your skinned ripped off, exposing raw nerves. Get support from counsellors, friends, family or strangers. You are not alone unless you choose to be.
12. Be kind to yourself and the other person. If you are the dumper, you may have being going through the leaving-grieving process for years. If your loved one is ambushed by your departure, give them time to catch up and come to terms with it. Be gentle in all your dealings.
The greatest gift of all in separating peacefully, is knowing that although the context of your relationship has changed, you can look back with pride. Perhaps you have inspired others to do the same; because if peace begins with you, here is your opportunity to bring peace to the world. Amen/Awomen!
Natasha J. Rosewood is an International Psychic Coach, Facilitator and Author of Aaagh! I Think I’m Psychic (And You Can Be Too). For details about her services, to purchase her book or subscribe to her newsletter visit: www.natashapsychic.com.
Synopsis of: Aaagh! I Think I’m Psychic (And You Can Be Too)
What do you feel when you hear the word "psychic?" Spine-chilling goose bumps or a gripping allure? A buring desire to discover more or the impulse to run? Fascination or fear? We all have intuition. Perhaps even a psychic ability. So why don't we use it?..
I Think I'm Psychic (And You Can Be Too) is a sometimes humourous, sometimes heartbreaking account of Natasha's reluctant psychic awakening. Her story is accompanied by metaphysical endnotes to help the reader recognize and develop his or her own inherent intuitive ability, and to offer a deeper understanding of the psychic forces that drew Natasha to these events.
© Copyright 2006 the author, otherwise PS-Magazine.Com
The publishers cannot accept any responsibility for any damage or harm caused by any treatment, advice, or information contained in this publication. In the case of illness, you should consult a qualified practitioner before undertaking any treatment.
PS-Magazine.com and MerlianNews.com
A Trans-Atlantic Holistic Internet Resource
About PS Magazine l Terms