I first went to see the Pyramids at Giza, the largest tombs on the planet, and visited the National Museum in Cairo; when I was six years old. I quietly inspected every mummy and read every caption that my eyes fell upon nodding every now and then in agreement as if I understood! However it wasn't until my early teens that my real fascination with death started.

 

I wanted to know what happens when we die, why we have to die, and what comes next. So I read philosophers whose work I was too young to really understand. I would sit at our kitchen table reading Descartes and Thomas Aquinas till late. I also enjoyed watching movies about ghosts and reincarnation; and I. I thought surely some part of us survives death. After all, why would the ancients be so taken with the afterlife?

 

In England, I pursued my interest in all things spiritual more freely. I took various classes and read books to my heart's content. I came across a fascinating book about ancient Taoist women who mastered their life's energy so that they were able to choose their time of death and what would be left behind of their bodies. They recycled their life's energy to such an extent that no flesh, bones or rotting corpses were left behind. I learned even death can be more efficient! This is not as strange as it may sound.

 

When I did a podcast interview with Master Mantak Chia of the Healing Tao, he spoke candidly about how his master watched over the body of his Taoist master while the latter spent more than 200 years out of his body at will, until the chosen time of his death .

 

In hindsight, perhaps my fascination was to do with preparing myself for the life path that I would chose later on, as a whole new perspective opened up for me. I realised that we get so carried away by life that we forget death is part of life and not the end of it. In my own work I am reminded daily that we only pass over - that our spirit is not cancelled by death.

 

There is a thin barrier between being alive in this world and in another dimension, which in our ignorance we call death. We can cross that barrier at any time, without intention and without warning. My attitudes to death are two-fold. Firstly to live our lives so that they are meaningful and have value, anticipating the fact of our impending death.

 

Secondly we should celebrate at funerals what the departed achieved in life - the joy and love that they gave and the memories they left behind to nurture and guide us. If we can be buried with joy and celebration at the end of our lives, loved by those who knew us, that is by far the greatest achievement that we will have made. It is a sign that our life was worth living and made a real difference to others. If you focus on the things that really matter you will find that the important things are never things, they are your relationships with other people, your love, joy, hope and

caring.

So, from time to time, we should think long and hard about death, because

in so doing we truly understand the meaning of life.

 

Dear Julia,

Everyone copes in their own way. What works for one person will not necessarily help another. Give yourself more time and you will find what works best for you.

It may even become your personal tribute to his memory.

In my own family, we each coped differently when my beloved brother passed away last May. My mother, for example, wanted to have a photo album of all his recent pictures and an enlarged photo by her bed as you could talk to him every day. My sister-in-law, on the other hand, couldn't cope at all with looking at her husband’s pictures or dealing with his belongings for a long time.

It seems to me that you still need time to grieve but the bottom line is to remember that life is for the living. There is, indeed, a process to coping with the aftermath of death. Some stages may take some of us longer to get through. You will cope better and will forward when the time is right.

On his birthday, honour his life, cherish his memories and the joy that he brought into your life; which I'm sure is greater than the tragedy of his death. Focus on also on the living and those who are with you now, for they still need your love and support.

A final word you may find the comfort that you seek when you read this wonderful book: The Little Dutch Boy: Study in Psychic Communication (Amazon UK, Amazon USA), by, the British medium Ronald Leonardo Hearn. It is an account of one of his most detailed cases involving communications from a deceased 10-year-old boy from the Netherlands.

Love and light

Sahar

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To order my book: Your Future in a Coffee Cup. by Sahar Huneidi, visit: Amazon.co.uk , Amazon.com , Tesco On-line, Waterstones, directly from the publisher.