I have been giving readings and guidance to clients for over 16 years. Some of the frequent questions I get to hear from my clients are: "Why do I keep on doing this?", "Is it my fault?" or "Am I attracting this to myself?" and eventually we get the important questions: "How can I get rid of it" or "What I can do to overcome this?"

There is danger in over-analysing the way we are and why we do the things we do. A great deal of it boils down to human nature.

Although we are each very different and unique, there are common 'ailments' that each of us experience in an individual way. It's part of human nature. The human brain, if you like, gets itself in a rut every now and then. It's part and parcel of its working nature. And, just like a computer, it needs to be de-fragmented and rebooted.

It might even need to be upgraded every now and then. Another point I hasten to add is this - never mind why we do one thing or another. What's really important is to recognise that there is a trait that we are unhappy with and that we would like to change it. Spotting it, is half the battle. The other half is practically applying that awareness to bring about a new change.

The minute you recognise a self-inflicted pattern, you also recognise that you can change it. While explaining the workings of the mind, US clinical psychologist, Dr. Mario E. Martinez once told me once that, "We can analyse the nature of a chair all we want, however, it will not change its nature". So when you recognise a pattern or a trait that you do not like, you should first of all be kind to yourself. You should then take action in order to bring about a desired change.

Only when we act in a conscious or mindful way, when we engage our awareness in what we do, we can actually begin to change what we do not like – and that is spiritual growth.

I mentioned upgrading your own 'computer' earlier. If you want to achieve more with your mind and seek to improve your ability at dealing with life's various challenges, teach yourself something new every now and then , Learn a new hobby, challenge your mind by stretching its learning capacity. Or pick up a new language. As far as research goes, learning the Japanese language apparently causes the I.Q. to take few leaps! It may give you a headache but it will certainly rewire your brain's circuit.

 

Dear Amanda,

Let’s forget that you lose your attention for a moment and focus on why you do what you do. Do you enjoy the task you set for yourself? It helps if you actually love what you do. Bringing your attention back to the task at hand would be easier.

On a different note, do you have a lot on your mind? Like that computer I mentioned in the article above, if your mind is congested with other thoughts and worries, it will crash! So it needs to be emptied first, de-fragmented and then restated.

A very good way of de-congesting the mind is getting used to writing things down rather than keeping them in your head. This will lighten the load and help you reconnect more with the task at hand. So, before starting something new, write a few words, empty your mind of other worries, and then start what you need to work on.

• Do you use a diary? Use tools to help you section your day; what needs to be done and when? Allocate time to plan your day, write a to-do list and stick it up somewhere visible.

I used to wear a rubber band across my wrist to remind me that there is something for me to remember!

• Finally, is fear getting in the way? Thomas Watson, who’s the founder of IBM, once said: “would you like to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple really. Double your rate of failure”. London Life Coach, Taymour Qabazard, put it aptly, when he said:” if you don’t want to fail, don’t stop trying to succeed”.

 

Love and light

Sahar