Emotions are the means through which the soul learns and develops. In order for that development to progress we also have to learn how to manage, or handle, our emotions. That includes how we think, react and express ourselves on a daily basis.

This is easy to forget when we have a difficult situation at hand. More often than not, emotions fly high and spiral out of control, and we might find ourselves where we do not wish to be. It's useless to blindingly ask then, "How did I get here?" Any situation, difficult or not, is an opportunity to manage our belief system and emotions, and modify the way that we tend to behave.

In fact, I do believe that it is precisely at that crucial moment that we ought to practice what we learn and not lose sight of what the situation actually represents: an opportunity to develop. We should apply a new way of managing the situation to reduce its intensity.

For example, instead of instinctively losing your temper, try to settle down and maintain some objectivity so that things do not spiral out of control later. Your emotions are an indicator showing you how balanced you are at any given time, and where you need to be.

Being in a balanced state means you can make the right decisions. From my personal experience, one sure fire way of gaining a better perspective of the situation is to consider the facts, rather than the emotional outbursts. This will then guide you as to why the situation has happened, and allow you to choose an appropriate course of action.

Next time you are facing a difficult situation, and before you find yourself saying, "How did I get here?” remember that we are spiritual beings, and another word to describe what that is, is to say we are emotional beings.

The spirit learns through emotions. We are able to feel and express our emotions while we have our physical form, or body. The physical body houses the brain, which in turn allows us to extract wisdom from various events and situations we experience during our lifetime. We can then transfer that wisdom to the higher self, or soul, to guide us so we can have a better life.

Dear Annabelle,

The teenage years are the most sensitive and challenging to deal with. Children are growing into young adults and deserve to be treated as such; in fact they often demand it! I found out through some of my clients, who are parents going through the same things as you are, that they often forget that as children grow older you cannot maintain the same degree of control over them. You can no longer be the boss that you once were.

As young adults, children want a certain degree of freedom to make their own choices, or their own mistakes as it may be. In that instance, you can only guide and advise, but not enforce your own methods of handling a situation. This would be a recipe for disaster and would be sure to create more tension between you.

I often suggest to my clients, "keep your kids on a longer leash!" and that leash should get longer the older your children get. In this way, they will grow to see you as a supportive friend and will come to you when they need to.

Stick to the facts and try not to emotionally blackmail them into doing, acting or saying what you expect them to. This will only result in you suppressing their individuality. You can objectively guide them into making the right choices, and in this way you will also be helping your children to grow into well-balanced individuals.

Love and light,
Sahar