There comes a time in our life journey when we have to put ourselves on the line and stand up for what we believe in. So, how do we know when it is such a time, especially in relation to our personal life when we receive disappointing or bad news, or when we experience new feelings like falling in love or fancying someone new?

It seems to me that we are perhaps less skilled at managing our personal lives than we are at managing our careers. After all, we often receive specialist training in our jobs, but there is no such formal qualification for managing our lives. This is why any personal effort we make to life-coach ourselves is worthwhile to improve that journey and make it more pleasant for everyone concerned.

The best way to deal with any situation is to prepare for it. What you can do is run best and worst case scenarios in your mind, so when it actually comes to facing a situation, you've already had a practice run.

This is not as naive as it may sound, for our brain does not distinguish between visualised and real. We go through the emotions just the same.

Bear in mind that, according to psychologists, most of us are less equipped to deal with super-pleasant situations than we are with really bad ones!

This may come as a surprise but shows it's important to think about the good as well as the bad. Make sure you're well prepared for any outcome. In this way you are emotionally ready to deal with both scenarios, and are not afraid of the outcome.

Dear Cynthia,

Before you think about this, did you go through your mind and, dare I say, belief system? Have considered what love is, what it means to love, and what you want from a romantic relationship?

Things do not just happen, we make them happen. So, before you hope to find the right person, sit down with pen and paper and write a list of what you actually desire, how you want to be treated, what kind of partner you are looking for and what you hope this partnership will achieve.

Make sure is a qualitative list, rather than a check list of credentials; because it is those qualities that would determine the outcome and longevity of a relationship - in other words, personal attributes.

  If your life seems to be missing something, try and fill that void yourself. A partner would not be able to give you what you are already lacking within. Look into how you can improve your life, and do not waste precious time pondering whether someone fancies you or not.

If you were already on a 'high vibe', men would be flocking towards you! Let me tell you a little secret. All we need to manifest things in our lives is to desire, intend and expect, leaving no room for doubt!

To be able to do this, you have to be clear about your intentions. Try writing 500 – 1000 words or so about:

• Why you want a relationship?
  
  
• What kind of partner?
  
  
• Where do you hope it will lead?
  
  
• More importantly, what's holding you back, in other words, why don’t you want a relationship?

Allow your writing to flow, stream of consciousness, without analysing; then go back and read your answers. Look deep enough and you will see that it is low self esteem that stops most of us from getting what we want. The most common excuses are: “I can’t believe it will happen”, or “ why should someone like him/her notice me?”

A person is most attractive to others when they are living their life to their fullest potential. They are then exciting, interesting, not afraid to express how they feel, mature, (emotionally) independent, and self-confidant.

Be happy, live your life to the maximum of your abilities, and the rest will take care of itself. Next time, other men will notice and let you know!

Love and light,
Sahar