At times, one of the hardest things that you can do in life is achieving a goal you have set for yourself. And although your intention for doing so might be quite clear, you stop short of reaching the target. In fact, sometimes you can't help procrastinating- right from the start. Why is that? I believe the answer lies in establishing motivation, that special part of the equation that kick starts the task and keep us going.

Many years ago, when I did the Silva Method course, (a fantastic life course that I recommend for everyone) I learned that the "secret to succeeding at achieving results is a product of desire, belief and expectation." It sounds simple enough, but stop and think about it for a second:

if you have the desire to do something, for example learning a new language, you must first have the desire to learn something new. Then you must believe that you are capable of carrying it out, and lastly you gave to expect that you will do it. If you fail on having one or two of the ingredients, then you would be setting yourself up for failure right from the start!

  This has to do with our belief system. If we have two equally strong but conflicting beliefs about something, then we’ll end up creating a stalemate situation and nothing will be achieved. In other words if you don't have self belief you might block yourself in spite of any effort you exert.

In this case, we put our mind at conflict with itself. The minute you say for example, "right, diet starts tomorrow", your psyche will fight you back and say , "no it doesn't". You may have a belief that says “I want to lose weight” and at the same time, there is another, sub-program, that dictates “I can never really lose weight” so you end up stalling yourself.

And that is why most of us fail at realising some of the goals we set for ourselves. We fail to appreciate how our inner psyche, or mind-dynamic, work. In order to succeed, the first step I suggest is iron out any conflicting thoughts or beliefs about what we set out to accomplish.

Another tip for success lies within past failures. Think of previous stumbling blocks or attempts you’ve made in the past at achieving a certain goal- they are the key to your success.

Try and learn from those “failure experience” instead of giving up. Ask yourself, “What did I learn from my attempt” and start writing what flows out of you, do not analyse- just “listen” to yourself. I remain a firm believer in clarifying objectives and clearing mind clutter by writing things down.

Achieving goals is gratifying in itself. However, remember to also keep your “reward” in sight - the cherry on top. This is because part of our psyche behaves like a rebellious child, who does not like, or want, to grow up and take responsibility for its own successes and failures.

You can coax your rebellious inner child by giving it an incentive and reminding it, not only of the task at hand but also, with the reward when that target is achieved.

So, grab a pen and a pad and write down your answers to the following:

· Decide on an important or urgent goal you have. Write it down.

· State or describe why you believe you can do it and how you will support yourself. Be realistic about what you can achieve within a set time-frame.

· Re-educate yourself about food, nutrition and health. This will help you to build a better belief system and a healthier attitude.

· The next step is to describe why you believe you can’t achieve it. This will help you to single out conflicting beliefs around your ability to attain that goal.

· Next, highlight those negative beliefs, then rewrite them as a positive statement, in the present tense;

· Remember to repeat the new beliefs over the next few days and weeks making a positive mental affirmation. Finally,

· Set a reward for yourself once you achieve your target. This will fuel your motivation and will help to keep you on track until you reach your desired goal.

Q. I find it really hard to motivate myself to exercise even though I really want to lose weight. Can you help?

Kerri, 40, Norwich

Dear Kerri,

It really boils down to your own belief system. Losing weight can be one of the hardest tasks to crack because it involves so many different factors, emotional and otherwise, so you really have to have clear and realistic objectives, and a strategy to support your attempt.

I would say the first step is to see your GP and asses your general health state and accordingly what kind of exercise will be suitable as well beneficial. Once that is done, set your objectives clearly by answering these questions: do you want to lose weight?

More importantly, decide on how many kilos you can realistically lose per week or per month. If you set a goal too high to accomplish in a short time span, you will fail at achieve it. How will you emotionally support yourself: can you enlist anyone to join you or join you? And what physical activities do you enjoy committing to? All these factors play an essential role in determining the outcome.

Sit down with a cuppa and write down the answers to all the above questions. This can help you modify your attitude towards food; change your beliefs by taking inspiration from at few nutrition books in your local library. And remember to write down your reward for achieving you goal. Stick your note up in a place where can see it regularly.

You will find that is easier to achieve your goal if you empower and inspire yourself.

Love & light

Sahar