Article first published in Enigma Magazine (www.enigma-mag.com). 
Published in PS Magazine with permission of author.

Fashion has been a form of self expression and representation since ancient Rome, if not before.  It is the way we choose to make a statement when we walk in a room and visually let others know of who we are.  Fashion has always interested, inspired and impressed us, for it is fuelled by creativity and ongoing breakthroughs in colour and design as well as culture.  The question that springs to mind as I look at the world around me is where has it all gone wrong?

There seems to be a parasitical growth in so called fashion, but at the same time diminishing taste and style.  Branding has become an art form in our modern age to saturation point.  Names such as: Tommy Hilfiger, Versace, Armani, Ralph Lauren, Calvin Kline, Moschino and the ever popular Burberrys to name but a few are not necessarily creating stylish fashion in everything they do, yet we want their names on our T-shirts, jeans, socks and underwear.  It doesn’t just stop there I’m afraid.  Brand names don’t seem to give us enough, we now want new noses, breasts, botox injections, “Hip” and “Cool” this, that and the other as well.  Even self-help seminars such as NLP are becoming venues of showing off the new pair of Prada shoes and the recent nose job, yet hardly anyone seems to genuinely grasp the concepts of such courses.

I recently had a beautiful and very tasteful fiftyish year old client who came to see me because she wanted less stress in her life.  Within twenty minutes into the session, she confessed to wanting a face lift.  My immediate reply was: “Perhaps you can try smiling instead of a face lift”.  She lit up with a sincere smile and realised the point I was making.  She had felt so pressured by her peers that she started doubting her natural beauty.  She felt depressed, unimportant and quite isolated.  Remember, other people’s insecurity and self-doubt can be infectious, and before you notice it you can begin to lose you’re inner peace. 

The fact of the matter was that my client had a very solid marriage, two wonderful healthy children and an overall well balanced life – not to mention a natural beauty that Catherine Denouve would envy.  Everyone around her was raving about the latest plastic surgery and the new Chopard watch because without realising it, the irony was that her friends were jealous of what she had.  As soon as she became aware of her blessings, she felt more comfortable and began to frown upon the idea of going under the knife.    

Yves Saint Laurent once said: “Fashions fade; but style is eternal”.  Well style is not what you wear, but how you wear what you do.  It is about tastefully combining ingredients of beauty and carrying them with confidence and charisma.  I have seen beautiful people think and behave as though they aren’t and one would hardly notice them; and other times a mediocre looking person may walk into the lobby of a hotel with such radiating confidence and charm that one cannot look away. Beauty is such a subjective and relative concept that it is difficult to have a universal definition for it.  Ultimately, beauty is about what makes you feel good, not what branding experts say. 

Moreover, if you constantly look in the mirror and criticise yourself and how you look – no matter how much money you spend on the latest fashion accessory, or surgery - you will always feel low, and such spending will only blanket the true problem of low self-perception. Note that language to your mind is what food is to your body, and it is vital that you nurture yourself internally as well as externally.  If you wear a gorgeous Ben Delisi dress, sprinkle yourself with the finest DeBeers diamonds along with the most popular Beverly Hills nose job, then stand in front of the mirror and say: “Yuk, I don’t like what I see” – What is the point ?  Beauty comes from within, self-worth comes from within and so does confidence.  They are all solid vessels that will carry you well even if you wear a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.  As the saying goes: “The best vision is insight”, and to find the ultimate element of style one must work from the inside out.

Finally, question what you believe!  Everything you’ve come to believe around you is learned, and they can be unlearned and re-learned in a new and helpful way.  Ultimately we don’t see things as they are, rather as who we are, and it is up to us to create those little changes that will yield big results.  Sophia Lauren who is a true icon of beauty once said: “Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful”.  Changing your beliefs about yourself and taking steps to create true and lasting happiness is the key to an internal fashion that will never go out of style. 

© Taymour Qabazard, 2005

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