This book was first published in 1989 and has sold in huge numbers around the world. Stephen Covey worked for IBM’s Executive Development Program developing material on communication and perception. He came to the realization of how deeply bedded our perceptions are, he says, “It taught me that we must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.”
Covey argues for a paradigm shift to a character-based. “inside-out” approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness. For him inside-out is a process – a continuing process of renewal based on the natural laws that govern human growth and progress. It’s an upward spiral of growth that leads to progressively higher forms of responsible independence and effective interdependence.
One of the themes of the book is the idea that the “Personality Ethic” followed by so many is a get rich quick scheme, which ignores the natural process of work and growth that is required to change our fundamental attitudes and behaviour.
Covey defines a “habit” as the intersection of knowledge, skill and desire.
Knowledge is the what to do and why
Desire is the motivation, and
Skill is the how to do.
He says “creating a habit requires work in all three dimensions.”
The seven habits are:
1. Be Proactive
Be self-aware, that is see ourself. Each person has the freedom to decide how external events will effect them.
Covey says, “The difference between people who exercise initiative and those who don’t is literally the difference between night and day.” All the other six habits depend on the use of initiative, or being proactive.
2. Begin with the End in Mind
Covey writes that the most fundamental application of “begin with the end in mind” is to begin today with the image or goal at the end of your life as the frame of reference or criterion by which everything else is judged. In other words begin with a clear idea of your destination. For example for ever pursuing a higher income may be a false goal for many (it may be relevant in part if you are poor and have a large family).
This habit is about building a blueprint for your life.
Covey also says that Leadership is about deciding what I want to accomplish; deciding what is right – as opposed to management which is about doing things right.
3. Put First Things First
Covey says that this represents the exercise of independent will toward becoming principle-centred, the action of doing it.
He points out that you have to manage yourself effectively to create a life congruent with your answers. Covey says, “In addition to self-awareness, imagination, and conscience, it is independent will – that really makes effective self-management possible. It is the ability to make decisions and choices and act in accordance with them.” The author also refers to the importance of time management, and says that the essence is to organize and execute around priorities – that is focus on preserving and enhancing relationships and on accomplishing results. He notes that effective people are not problem-minded, they are opportunity-minded.
For people who are not American businessmen this chapter may be seen as too aggressively focused on results. In some cultures the whole concept of time-management is alien, while in others, like Germany, it is a religion.
4. Think Win-Win
Covey notes that win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. That agreements are mutually beneficial, and co-operation not competition is the main driver. This is also the basis of The classic book on negotiation – “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury, however win-win, which is essentially a concept from game theory, only works if both sides play the same game. There can be no ultimate win-win with a Stalin or Hitler for example.
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
We often fail to take time to really understand a problem before arriving at a solution. Covey says that communication is the most important skill in life. He says that most of us have never learnt how to listen properly. According to Covey most of us first seek to be understood, so we need to change our whole approach to personal communications. He says that listening with an intent to understand is an entirely different paradigm from that most of us employ. Empathy means understanding another person, not agreeing with them.
Covey points out that satisfied needs do not motivate. “It’s only unsatisfied need that motivates”. He says that people want to be understood to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.
6. Synergize
Covey says that, “When properly understood, synergy is the highest activity in all life – the true test and manifestation of all of the other habits put together.” Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, where everything comes together to work at a higher level. In order for synergy to work the other six habits are required; there needs to be openness and understand. Synergy is associated with creativity – especially in groups. This is an important concept, yet this is one of the weakest chapters of the book; the key to understanding this concept is Jung’s book, “Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle”.
7. Sharpen the Saw – the Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal
The need to live a balanced life and give time for your personal mental, spiritual, physical and emotional needs.
Covey sees people as continuing their personal development on increasingly higher planes – learn, commit and do.