The seven habits are:
1. Be Proactive
Be self-aware, that is see ourself. Each person has the freedom to decide how external events will effect them.
Covey says, “The difference between people who exercise initiative and those who don’t is literally the difference between night and day.” All the other six habits depend on the use of initiative, or being proactive.
2. Begin with the End in Mind
Covey writes that the most fundamental application of “begin with the end in mind” is to begin today with the image or goal at the end of your life as the frame of reference or criterion by which everything else is judged. In other words begin with a clear idea of your destination. For example for ever pursuing a higher income may be a false goal for many (it may be relevant in part if you are poor and have a large family).
This habit is about building a blueprint for your life.
Covey also says that Leadership is about deciding what I want to accomplish; deciding what is right – as opposed to management which is about doing things right.
3. Put First Things First
Covey says that this represents the exercise of independent will toward becoming principle-centred, the action of doing it.
He points out that you have to manage yourself effectively to create a life congruent with your answers. Covey says, “In addition to self-awareness, imagination, and conscience, it is independent will – that really makes effective self-management possible. It is the ability to make decisions and choices and act in accordance with them.” The author also refers to the importance of time management, and says that the essence is to organize and execute around priorities – that is focus on preserving and enhancing relationships and on accomplishing results. He notes that effective people are not problem-minded, they are opportunity-minded.
For people who are not American businessmen this chapter may be seen as too aggressively focused on results. In some cultures the whole concept of time-management is alien, while in others, like Germany, it is a religion.
4. Think Win-Win
Covey notes that win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. That agreements are mutually beneficial, and co-operation not competition is the main driver. This is also the basis of The classic book on negotiation – “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury, however win-win, which is essentially a concept from game theory, only works if both sides play the same game. There can be no ultimate win-win with a Stalin or Hitler for example.
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
We often fail to take time to really understand a problem before arriving at a solution. Covey says that communication is the most important skill in life. He says that most of us have never learnt how to listen properly. According to Covey most of us first seek to be understood, so we need to change our whole approach to personal communications. He says that listening with an intent to understand is an entirely different paradigm from that most of us employ. Empathy means understanding another person, not agreeing with them.
Covey points out that satisfied needs do not motivate. “It’s only unsatisfied need that motivates”. He says that people want to be understood to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.
6. Synergize
Covey says that, “When properly understood, synergy is the highest activity in all life – the true test and manifestation of all of the other habits put together.” Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, where everything comes together to work at a higher level. In order for synergy to work the other six habits are required; there needs to be openness and understand. Synergy is associated with creativity – especially in groups. This is an important concept, yet this is one of the weakest chapters of the book; the key to understanding this concept is Jung’s book, “Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle”.
7. Sharpen the Saw – the Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal
The need to live a balanced life and give time for your personal mental, spiritual, physical and emotional needs.
Covey sees people as continuing their personal development on increasingly higher planes – learn, commit and do.
This is an important book, the lessons may be obvious but there are few of us who would not benefit from their application. It has sold in such huge numbers because many people have found it valuable and have recommended it.
It is possible to see it as being too American, too business oriented, or too male in focus, but the issues discussed are universal and the goal is to empower the reader. Women, in the main may be better at listening to people than men, but both women and men often live imperfect lives, which Covey aims to better.
Next time you are looking at the bookshelves at Heathrow or O’Hare airports, or in your local bookshop take a look at this book; it’s 300 plus pages are readable and I defy anyone not to find some point that is useful, it's not perfect, don’t let its' US business focus put you off from using the parts that make sense for you. For many it may form a value piece of homework.
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