Forgive, Forget, and Move Forward

Forgive the past, forgive what it made you into

how to forgive
Article first appeared in Prediction Magazine, March. 2004, (page 65)

Are you ready to forgive?

Almost every spiritual tradition calls for forgiveness and yet it is one of the least understood-, which makes it the single most difficult act for us to undertake.

In last month’s article we discussed the need to release the past in order to move forward by rewriting it; and how the brain reacts and responds to thoughts and perceptions you have right now. It follows, that in the present state, the brain will in turn dictate orders to the physical body affecting and determining your physical health and state well-being.

In other words, thoughts about unresolved (or un-forgiven) situations can, not only leave you mentally stuck, but also lead to psychosomatic and eventually terminal illness. Therapist Venka Heard, says, “Whatever you think or say, your body is listening to you and believes you”. I had started writing this month’s article, when I ran into a friend, who was feeling low moaning about her 60th birthday in few days.

I noticed her eyes welling up as she talked about her past with resentment: how her first husband abandoned her to marry her sister, her body was ailing, she was considering retirement; and felt that her past was miserable and had nothing to celebrate or look forward to. When I asked her whether she was in love, or happy during her marriage, she simply said no.

It seemed divorce was not an option. I asked her if her sister was happy, she said yes, “they were meant for each other”. “There you are,” I shrieked! “A classic case of The Universe had dealt with it on your behalf. A ‘karmic ball’ is a blessing in disguise. What are you upset about then?” Her answer was intriguing: “ You mean I do not have to hurt anymore?” The tears stopped. Next time I saw her, she was getting ready to leave on a holiday to the Caribbean!

Self-forgiveness comes first.

Seth, the spiritual entity Jane Roberts channelled says: ‘You form the fabric of your experience through your own beliefs and expectations’.  Recognising you create your own reality will make you feel empowered not victimised, and your circumstances will change. Forgive the past, forgive what it made you into, and how you perceived and reacted to it, and then start to love and empathise with yourself. Only then would healing begin. Harold Bloomfield, M.D., a leading psychological educator, and author of Making Peace with Your Past says: “every day you don’t forgive it’s as if you are ingesting tiny bits of poison”.

The Act of forgiveness:

  • Find a quiet corner where you can sit relaxed; light a candle, play your favourite relaxing music, then:
  • State your intention, mentally, or out loud, that:
    “if I have hurt or harmed myself or anyone else, either intentionally or unintentionally; I am now asking for forgiveness and ready to heal”. Repeat, preferably 3 times.
  • Close your eyes, take three very deep breaths. Try to hold your breath, and then exhale all your worries.
  • Now, focus your attention at the centre of your head, clearing your mind. Then ask yourself, who or what do you need to forgive? Allow an answer to effortlessly pop in your mind- it might not be what you expect!
  • Get a sense of which part of your body is at dis-ease with this situation or person.
  • Make a connection with that part as you state your intention of forgiveness again- that you are now ready to forgive yourself, and/or people involved or that situation.
  • Hold your breath as long as you can, then exhale feeling lighter.
  • Repeat the last three steps as often as necessary, until your body is at ease, or nothing comes up on your mental screen.
  • As your visualisation comes to conclusion, see yourself smiling and content.
  • Focus now on the room you are in; wiggle your toes, open your eyes and stand up slowly; feel lighter, refreshed and renewed.

Finally, remember, if you do not ‘forgive those who trespassed’ against you, you will suffer- not them! Literally, negative thoughts such as fear, anger, despair, or resentment; bore holes in your auric field.

Next month, we’ll discuss another spiritual act: compassion, including exercise to forgive others. Till then, love, light and healing.

About Sahar Huneidi-Palmer
Author, Columnist, Holistic Therapist & Personal Mentor; helping my clients achieve the life they are meant to live since 1992. I am passionate about demystifying the abstract, podcasting & and love Turkish coffee!

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